I have been trying to get my life back on track. I thought that not thinking about Tracy for awhile would make things better. That didn't work.
Around the holidays Tracy followed me for a few blocks. That really freaked me out. I mean really freaked me out. I could not contact the police because even though I knew it was her, I could not prove it with video or photos because she was 1/2 a block behind me and I thought it would be too dangerous to turn around and confront her. I have learned that without some sort of photo or video proof, the police are not going to do anything. Maybe a witness would help but she and I were the only two people on the street for 4 blocks. It was scary.
I have five police reports and they are worth the paper they are written on. I try to keep positive that when the two year restraining order expires, I will be able to go to court and get an extension if this continues with no difficulty.
more to come...
Showing posts with label police. Show all posts
Showing posts with label police. Show all posts
Friday, January 29, 2016
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
Now I am constantly thinking about how I can get involved. What I can do to make a difference. I had this horrible thing, this devastating thing, happen to me and now I want to do something to make it better for the next person. I hear that for most people after a horrendous incident doing something makes them feel better, makes them whole faster.
I just don't know what to do. No one seems to want my help. I called a pet safe program that is supposed to take in your pet if you need to run and don't have anywhere to put your pet. Well, I found out that that is not true. I would have had to be in a shelter in order to put my pet in the pet shelter. I think that is ridiculous. So people who are running for their lives can only have their dogs taken care of for the night if they meet some socio-economic level. Does that seem bizarre to anyone but me? Because I didn't stay in a shelter (that I didn't even know existed) I couldn't board my dogs? So crazy. More bureaucratic bullshit.
This all goes back to the day the cops came to my home to help me get my go bag. They were supposed to give me three pamphlets. They did not. The cop in charge asked me if I had a plan and I said yes and he said fine. No pamphlets. No help. My plan fell through and I was left crying in my car with two dogs and I had not had any food since the night before. What was I going to do? I could not think. If not for the hospitality of strangers, I would have slept in my car and been unsafe all night.
Something needs to change. I want to help make that change.
more to come...
I just don't know what to do. No one seems to want my help. I called a pet safe program that is supposed to take in your pet if you need to run and don't have anywhere to put your pet. Well, I found out that that is not true. I would have had to be in a shelter in order to put my pet in the pet shelter. I think that is ridiculous. So people who are running for their lives can only have their dogs taken care of for the night if they meet some socio-economic level. Does that seem bizarre to anyone but me? Because I didn't stay in a shelter (that I didn't even know existed) I couldn't board my dogs? So crazy. More bureaucratic bullshit.
This all goes back to the day the cops came to my home to help me get my go bag. They were supposed to give me three pamphlets. They did not. The cop in charge asked me if I had a plan and I said yes and he said fine. No pamphlets. No help. My plan fell through and I was left crying in my car with two dogs and I had not had any food since the night before. What was I going to do? I could not think. If not for the hospitality of strangers, I would have slept in my car and been unsafe all night.
Something needs to change. I want to help make that change.
more to come...
Monday, September 21, 2015
INSPECTOR FROM SVU
Today I get a phone call from an inspector from the SVU department. She tells me that I have two choices a) do nothing and the report goes to the court and the judge sees it and b) I go down to SVU and the DA and make another report. The DA then makes a determination if he wants to arrest her. I told the inspector I wanted to wait until after Tracy picks up her stuff on Friday. The inspector says if Tracy comes to the house and picks up her stuff, even if I am not there, I will be putting the restraining order in jeopardy.
I got all upset. But it states in the restraining order that she is supposed to come and pick up her stuff. I called my attorney, some friends. I was a bloody mess. Crying every where and for no reason.
Then I get a phone call from a Domestic Violence Advocate. Out of the blue. Well, not out of the blue, I guess the SVU Inspector gave her my number. Funny that five months after I got my original TRO I finally get a call from a domestic violence advocate. Of course I balled on the phone to her too. I said I was a mess this week. I swear if there was a Hallmark ad on TV I would have cried at that too.
more to come...
I got all upset. But it states in the restraining order that she is supposed to come and pick up her stuff. I called my attorney, some friends. I was a bloody mess. Crying every where and for no reason.
Then I get a phone call from a Domestic Violence Advocate. Out of the blue. Well, not out of the blue, I guess the SVU Inspector gave her my number. Funny that five months after I got my original TRO I finally get a call from a domestic violence advocate. Of course I balled on the phone to her too. I said I was a mess this week. I swear if there was a Hallmark ad on TV I would have cried at that too.
more to come...
Friday, September 18, 2015
FALLOUT FROM THE PHONE CALL
After Tracy called I called my attorney. She said to call the police and make a report. Then my step mother called and said yet again Tracy called her to ask her to call me. These are both against the restraining order rules. It was clear I would have to report this to the police.
On my way to work, I called and sat on hold for 20 minutes. I gave up. Later on I called again and got through. The lady told me I needed to go into the precinct to make a report. On my way home I dropped by the precinct. They told me it would take hours to have an officer free to take a report. They said it would be better for me to go home and have an officer come to my house. I went home and called to have an officer come to my home to make a report. I called at 6-6:30 pm. At 2:30 am my doorbell rang. It was the officers coming by to take the report. I was in my PJs.
They listened to the recording (I forgot to say that Tracy left a voicemail on my machine before I picked up the phone) and listened to my story and dates and times of the phone calls. They told me this report would go to the DA and the court. Then they left.
more to come...
On my way to work, I called and sat on hold for 20 minutes. I gave up. Later on I called again and got through. The lady told me I needed to go into the precinct to make a report. On my way home I dropped by the precinct. They told me it would take hours to have an officer free to take a report. They said it would be better for me to go home and have an officer come to my house. I went home and called to have an officer come to my home to make a report. I called at 6-6:30 pm. At 2:30 am my doorbell rang. It was the officers coming by to take the report. I was in my PJs.
They listened to the recording (I forgot to say that Tracy left a voicemail on my machine before I picked up the phone) and listened to my story and dates and times of the phone calls. They told me this report would go to the DA and the court. Then they left.
more to come...
Thursday, August 6, 2015
VISIT TO THE SVU POLICE
I decided I wanted to talk to someone at the police department. I contacted the Chief of Police and he passed me off to the Interim Captain of the Special Victims Unit. He was very nice. He was interested why there were no domestic violence calls to the police department from my home. I explained to him that I was warned by some ex-police and ex-FBI that the police would not be able to do anything if I called them and that would potentially anger Tracy further. I never called the police because I didn't want to anger Tracy any more than necessary.
I made an appointment with Capt. SVU. When we met, he was very nice. I told him that he could not understand what I went through unless he went through it. In fact I did not understand until I went through it. He then explained that he went through a horrible divorce with a restraining order so he understood. I was quite upset when he tried to equate my domestic violence situation with his bad divorce. Now I know people have bad divorces. Some are horrible with the parties claiming all sorts of stuff. But no matter what he went through, it was not the same thing as the extreme psychological and emotional abuse I went through being trapped in my own home. Not to mention, I doubt any cop feels terrified when they carry a gun. They have the power. They are not worried they are going to be stabbed at any time. They are not worried that their partner is going to meet them at the door with a weapon. Maybe they are worried that their partner is going to hurt them in their sleep but they at least have a weapon and training. I had nothing. If Tracy had decided to hurt me, she outweighed me and could out maneuver me. She had the upper hand. I was at a complete disadvantage.
After that part of the conversation, I began to tell him my concerns. How the cops who came to my home to help me get my stuff on the day the Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) was served told me I was violating the restraining order because I lived in the house after the TRO was granted but had not been served. I told him that was ridiculous. If I told Tracy that I had a TRO that was granted but had not been served she would have gone ballistic. What was I supposed to do? Move out? I think Tracy would have noticed I was gone for three days.
Then the cops didn't check the whole house and I found out when I came back that Tracy had been in the house the whole time. That is scary to me. I had already told them she was aggressive to the process server. Knowing this didn't make me feel safe. What if she had come upstairs while I was in the house?
The cops who came to remove Tracy from the home never gave me a list of services. So when my Plan A fell through I had no Plan B. Where was I going to go? What was I going to do? I was in my car with two dogs crying. If I had a list of services I could have called someone to help me.
The cops told me to go to three different locations to get a police report that took days and I almost didn't get my police report on time for court.
I also had good experiences. The two cops that removed Tracy were fantastic. They must have had special training. They were so patient.
The deputy in the court house escorted my attorney and I out of the court house so Tracy could calm down while we left. That was a good call.
Capt. SVU took notes but my feeling was that he was not interested in doing anything about it. I told him that I was interested in helping the police department in making it a better system. What can I do? He gave me some useless information and sent me on my way.
I am going to find another way. He didn't get it. How could be in charge of SVU?
more to come...
I made an appointment with Capt. SVU. When we met, he was very nice. I told him that he could not understand what I went through unless he went through it. In fact I did not understand until I went through it. He then explained that he went through a horrible divorce with a restraining order so he understood. I was quite upset when he tried to equate my domestic violence situation with his bad divorce. Now I know people have bad divorces. Some are horrible with the parties claiming all sorts of stuff. But no matter what he went through, it was not the same thing as the extreme psychological and emotional abuse I went through being trapped in my own home. Not to mention, I doubt any cop feels terrified when they carry a gun. They have the power. They are not worried they are going to be stabbed at any time. They are not worried that their partner is going to meet them at the door with a weapon. Maybe they are worried that their partner is going to hurt them in their sleep but they at least have a weapon and training. I had nothing. If Tracy had decided to hurt me, she outweighed me and could out maneuver me. She had the upper hand. I was at a complete disadvantage.
After that part of the conversation, I began to tell him my concerns. How the cops who came to my home to help me get my stuff on the day the Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) was served told me I was violating the restraining order because I lived in the house after the TRO was granted but had not been served. I told him that was ridiculous. If I told Tracy that I had a TRO that was granted but had not been served she would have gone ballistic. What was I supposed to do? Move out? I think Tracy would have noticed I was gone for three days.
Then the cops didn't check the whole house and I found out when I came back that Tracy had been in the house the whole time. That is scary to me. I had already told them she was aggressive to the process server. Knowing this didn't make me feel safe. What if she had come upstairs while I was in the house?
The cops who came to remove Tracy from the home never gave me a list of services. So when my Plan A fell through I had no Plan B. Where was I going to go? What was I going to do? I was in my car with two dogs crying. If I had a list of services I could have called someone to help me.
The cops told me to go to three different locations to get a police report that took days and I almost didn't get my police report on time for court.
I also had good experiences. The two cops that removed Tracy were fantastic. They must have had special training. They were so patient.
The deputy in the court house escorted my attorney and I out of the court house so Tracy could calm down while we left. That was a good call.
Capt. SVU took notes but my feeling was that he was not interested in doing anything about it. I told him that I was interested in helping the police department in making it a better system. What can I do? He gave me some useless information and sent me on my way.
I am going to find another way. He didn't get it. How could be in charge of SVU?
more to come...
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
MORE VIOLATIONS OF THE RESTRAINING ORDER
Today I came out of the house to walk the dogs and I found a big surprise. In 2011 when we had the concrete replaced in front of the house, Tracy and I carved our initials and the date in the concrete. Today my initials were painted over. Tracy's initials were still there and so was the date. Who do you think did that? Yesterday my initials were there.
That means that Tracy was in front of the house, violating the restraining order. Or some random person covered my initials. I called the police and they came over to make a report. They convinced me to get security cameras in the windows. They told me that painting over my initials and violating the restraining order is an act of serious anger. Tracy has nothing to lose so she is willing to risk going to jail.
Then I find out that Tracy called my step-mother to ask her to talk to me and ask me not to throw away her stuff. Another violation of the restraining order. Tracy is not allowed to contact any friends or family to have them contact me on her behalf. I am also not allowed to contact her family to contact her. We are supposed to be leaving each other alone. She is only supposed to be talking to my attorney.
I have one family member who keeps offering to help by calling Tracy's family and getting them to contact Tracy to help her to get her boxes out of the house. I appreciate the help but she is going to get me in trouble by being so helpful. I don't want to go to jail for violating the restraining order.
It is all so stressful. I just want this over. She needs to move on. I need to move on. I need the boxes gone. I need to be able to reorganize when the boxes are gone. I need a vacation. I need something. Less stress.
more to come...
That means that Tracy was in front of the house, violating the restraining order. Or some random person covered my initials. I called the police and they came over to make a report. They convinced me to get security cameras in the windows. They told me that painting over my initials and violating the restraining order is an act of serious anger. Tracy has nothing to lose so she is willing to risk going to jail.
Then I find out that Tracy called my step-mother to ask her to talk to me and ask me not to throw away her stuff. Another violation of the restraining order. Tracy is not allowed to contact any friends or family to have them contact me on her behalf. I am also not allowed to contact her family to contact her. We are supposed to be leaving each other alone. She is only supposed to be talking to my attorney.
I have one family member who keeps offering to help by calling Tracy's family and getting them to contact Tracy to help her to get her boxes out of the house. I appreciate the help but she is going to get me in trouble by being so helpful. I don't want to go to jail for violating the restraining order.
It is all so stressful. I just want this over. She needs to move on. I need to move on. I need the boxes gone. I need to be able to reorganize when the boxes are gone. I need a vacation. I need something. Less stress.
more to come...
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
COURT DATE WEEK
The past two weeks have been a whirlwind. I get the TRO, Tracy is escorted out of the house, I get back in, days later I have a full weekend mediation training, and the next weekend I spend the whole weekend packing Tracy's belongings. Barely a chance to breathe.
This week I got a chance to see the movie Inside/Out with my friend Herbert. I was excited to see a funny movie. It was so cute. I liked anger!
But this week is court date week. I have to get my head around seeing Tracy after three weeks of only seeing her from a distance. I have to get my paperwork in order and that has proved to be a challenge. One piece I have to get is the police report. The responding officer told me to go to X police station to get a print out. I went there and they told me to go to Y station to get it. I went to Y station and they told me to go to Z office to get it. I was exhausted and frustrated. Who does this to a person who has just gone through a trauma? It is ridiculous. I get to Z and they tell me it will take 10 days and I have to fax in my request. I have court in 4 days. I told them I have been sent all over town. They said they could not make an exception for me. I sat in their office and cried. The morning before court I got a phone call from a very nice lady who told me the report was printed and ready for me to pick up. I cried again from relief.
The day before court I took the dogs for a walk after dinner like normal. We were going around the block when we turned the corner and there was Tracy 1/2 way down the block. She saw me and said 'Oh, shit". I saw her and immediately turned the dogs around. Or at least tried to. Poor Bubba wanted to go to her and would not turn around. I had to practically pull her around the corner. Tracy started yelling at me. Telling me I ruined her life and broke her heart. Screaming up the street. Coming closer and closer. I am trying to get the dogs to move up the street but you know dogs, they never go where you want them to go. Tracy is completely oblivious to the dogs wanting her. Meanwhile I am trying to get out my phone to call the police since she is violating the restraining order. I tell her that she is violating the restraining order and that she needs to be 100 yards away from me. She says she is going to work and I can't stop her from going where she wants to go. I tell her again that she needs to stay 100 yards away or I will call the police. I turn to deal with the dogs and she is gone.
I take a breath and call my attorney. She tells me that I need to call the police and make a report even if Tracy is gone. Each report will add up if she violates too many times. I call the police and make a report. The dispatcher tells me to go home and if I see Tracy again, to call back immediately and they will send a police car immediately. I took the dogs around another way and then back home. That night I had a panic attack. Tomorrow is court day.
more to come...
This week I got a chance to see the movie Inside/Out with my friend Herbert. I was excited to see a funny movie. It was so cute. I liked anger!
But this week is court date week. I have to get my head around seeing Tracy after three weeks of only seeing her from a distance. I have to get my paperwork in order and that has proved to be a challenge. One piece I have to get is the police report. The responding officer told me to go to X police station to get a print out. I went there and they told me to go to Y station to get it. I went to Y station and they told me to go to Z office to get it. I was exhausted and frustrated. Who does this to a person who has just gone through a trauma? It is ridiculous. I get to Z and they tell me it will take 10 days and I have to fax in my request. I have court in 4 days. I told them I have been sent all over town. They said they could not make an exception for me. I sat in their office and cried. The morning before court I got a phone call from a very nice lady who told me the report was printed and ready for me to pick up. I cried again from relief.
The day before court I took the dogs for a walk after dinner like normal. We were going around the block when we turned the corner and there was Tracy 1/2 way down the block. She saw me and said 'Oh, shit". I saw her and immediately turned the dogs around. Or at least tried to. Poor Bubba wanted to go to her and would not turn around. I had to practically pull her around the corner. Tracy started yelling at me. Telling me I ruined her life and broke her heart. Screaming up the street. Coming closer and closer. I am trying to get the dogs to move up the street but you know dogs, they never go where you want them to go. Tracy is completely oblivious to the dogs wanting her. Meanwhile I am trying to get out my phone to call the police since she is violating the restraining order. I tell her that she is violating the restraining order and that she needs to be 100 yards away from me. She says she is going to work and I can't stop her from going where she wants to go. I tell her again that she needs to stay 100 yards away or I will call the police. I turn to deal with the dogs and she is gone.
I take a breath and call my attorney. She tells me that I need to call the police and make a report even if Tracy is gone. Each report will add up if she violates too many times. I call the police and make a report. The dispatcher tells me to go home and if I see Tracy again, to call back immediately and they will send a police car immediately. I took the dogs around another way and then back home. That night I had a panic attack. Tomorrow is court day.
more to come...
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
BACK IN THE HOUSE
On my way to meeting the police at my home, I stopped by an Ace Hardware to get a chain and lock so I could lock my front gate once Tracy was out of the house. I got to the house and called Steve, the Private Investigator, to find out when the police were going to arrive. He told me to park around the corner and wait. He would call when the police were there.
It was a short wait until I got the call. I waved the police down and they showed me where to park. They told me to wait there until it was over. I gave them my key and alarm code so they could enter the house. I told them that Tracy would probably be hiding in the house since I had a feeling she was hiding the day before.
I waited. 20 minutes later an officer came out to tell me they had announced that they were police entering the house about 12 times and Tracy did not answer or come out. They searched the house and they found her in the bathroom downstairs with the door closed. They asked her why she didn't answer and she said what are you doing in the house? They told her they could have shot her because she didn't answer. She continued to wonder why they were there. The officer told me that they were having problems getting Tracy to leave. Did I want them to arrest her or try to negotiate her out of the house? I called my attorney and she and I agreed that it was best to negotiate her out.
I waited and waited. For 2 hours I waited. The officers came out periodically to give me updates. She was talking to herself, She was confused. She had no where to go. She was crying. She was unable to pack anything. She was packing everything. The officers said her mental illness was clearly an issue. They could not reason with her. She was angry. She was sad. She was laughing to herself. Finally she had packed way too many bags and walked down the street. I had to wait a bit with the officers for about 15 minutes to make sure she didn't double back and then they escorted me inside. I got inside and got my chain and lock and locked the gate.
I immediately called the alarm company and changed the alarm code and set the alarm. I called the locksmith and he was coming in a few hours. I went down to the garage and changed the code on the garage door. Well, I actually wiped the code out because I didn't know what I was doing. Good enough! I felt safe for the moment. I called the dog walker and let her know she could bring the dogs back any time. I would really feel safe once the dogs were back home. They bark at everything.
Since it was late I just wanted to sit in a silent house for a bit. Hear the silence. Then I contacted everyone to let them know I was in the house and safe. This part was over.
more to come...
It was a short wait until I got the call. I waved the police down and they showed me where to park. They told me to wait there until it was over. I gave them my key and alarm code so they could enter the house. I told them that Tracy would probably be hiding in the house since I had a feeling she was hiding the day before.
I waited. 20 minutes later an officer came out to tell me they had announced that they were police entering the house about 12 times and Tracy did not answer or come out. They searched the house and they found her in the bathroom downstairs with the door closed. They asked her why she didn't answer and she said what are you doing in the house? They told her they could have shot her because she didn't answer. She continued to wonder why they were there. The officer told me that they were having problems getting Tracy to leave. Did I want them to arrest her or try to negotiate her out of the house? I called my attorney and she and I agreed that it was best to negotiate her out.
I waited and waited. For 2 hours I waited. The officers came out periodically to give me updates. She was talking to herself, She was confused. She had no where to go. She was crying. She was unable to pack anything. She was packing everything. The officers said her mental illness was clearly an issue. They could not reason with her. She was angry. She was sad. She was laughing to herself. Finally she had packed way too many bags and walked down the street. I had to wait a bit with the officers for about 15 minutes to make sure she didn't double back and then they escorted me inside. I got inside and got my chain and lock and locked the gate.
I immediately called the alarm company and changed the alarm code and set the alarm. I called the locksmith and he was coming in a few hours. I went down to the garage and changed the code on the garage door. Well, I actually wiped the code out because I didn't know what I was doing. Good enough! I felt safe for the moment. I called the dog walker and let her know she could bring the dogs back any time. I would really feel safe once the dogs were back home. They bark at everything.
Since it was late I just wanted to sit in a silent house for a bit. Hear the silence. Then I contacted everyone to let them know I was in the house and safe. This part was over.
more to come...
Saturday, July 18, 2015
SERVING THE TEMPORARY RESTRAINING ORDER
Monday arrived and my attorney could finally get the court papers printed off the court website. I needed the temporary restraining order (TRO) to serve Tracy. I already knew that I was not going to be able to get the sheriff's department to serve the papers. I would have to wait until Friday for the sheriff to serve the papers. I could not image living with Tracy for four more days knowing that I have the court papers.
My attorney told me she had a process server but that he was going to basically hand her the papers and run. This made me nervous. Tracy was so unstable, what if she refused to answer the door or didn't take the papers?
I decided to call a security company that a friend had told me about. I didn't know what they could do for me but it was worth a shot. I called Steve (ex-FBI agent) and he said he could help out by not just providing surveillance but he could also process serve the papers. He said he would do it but he wanted to do surveillance prior to serving the papers.He wanted a plan. He called my attorney and they set up a plan. It was wonderful to be out of the loop on the planning. To hand something over to someone was so stress free. I had been doing all the planning and stressing and controlling for so long; it was exhausting. Someone wanted to take care of me? Do it.
So my attorney and Steve and they organized the plan. We would wait until Tuesday morning. "Could you wait one more night?" What was one more night!?
The plan was that I would get a text early Tuesday morning from Steve. He would ask if Tracy was there. I already knew Tracy had to be somewhere at 8 am. If Tracy was still at the house at 7:30 am I was supposed to take the dogs for a walk on a ruse that I was going to a clients that morning.
Tuesday morning Tracy got up at 4 am and began her cleaning and talking to herself. Ranting and raving about this or that. I had my go-bag packed. When she took a walk at 5:30 am I ran downstairs and put my computer, bag with money and electronic, phone book, etc in the trunk of my car. I left my go-bag with my clothes because it was in plain view and I didn't want to tip her off. I already had all the sets of car keys, garage door openers, etc in the trunk of the car (not too safe I know) so she could not grab them. The dog sitter had dog food already so we were set there. I had extra leashes in my go bag.
At the appointed time, 7:30 am, I got the dogs ready and grabbed my handbag and went out the door. I saw Steve at the end of the block. I took the dogs a few blocks away where Tracy would not see us and waited in the chilly air. We walked, we sat, we walked, we sat. For two hours. I got a text from Steve. It was done but it didn't go well. Where are you? I met him around the block and he told me the whole story.
He and a colleague arrived. The colleague was taping the whole thing. Steve went to the door and at first she didn't answer. Then she finally did. She refused the papers by saying she was not the owner of the home. He explained the papers were for her. She said she is not taking any papers. They went back and forth. He explained that the papers were a temporary restraining order and it says she has to vacate the premises. Finally she opened the door and he served her but she dropped them on the ground. He went back to the car and she came out and started screaming at him and pounding on the car. She was in the middle of the street yelling and screaming.
He retreated in the car and that is when he texted me. He informed me that it was unsafe to go near the house since she is aggressive and unpredictable and still in the house. We called the police to come escort me into the house to get my go-bag, bird, and car. Unfortunately it was a very busy police day that day and I ended waiting for 3 more hours for the police. It took Steve calling, me calling, my neighbor who came to sit with me, calling. Finally a police officer came to the house.
I gave the police officer the papers and he read them. He then asked me when the restraining order was granted. I told him Friday but there was a problem with the website so we could not print the papers. Then we had to get a process server. He proceeded to tell me that I have been in violation of the TRO by living in the same house since the TRO was granted on Friday. I got all upset. You have got to be kidding me?! What was I supposed to do? Move out and let the cat out of the bag that I have a TRO that I can't serve for four more days? You have got to be kidding me. God knows what she could do to the house left by herself knowing that something is going on.
Then he asked me if she has any weapons, do I know if she is in the house, where would she be in the house, is she violent. After answering that no she has no weapons. I don't know if she is in the house but I am assuming she is. I don't know where she would be in the house. I didn't think she would be violent but she did act aggressively toward the process server. The officer called for back up.
Once back up showed up, we entered the house. They told me they would only clear the rooms I needed to enter. The officers did not go downstairs. I retrospect Tracy was downstairs. When I returned there was a note on the door telling me that I didn't put the alarm back on "when I was in the house with my 2 officer friends". There would be no way she would know that unless she was in the house when I was getting my stuff. I grabbed my go-bag, the bird, and some clothes. Then we went into the garage and I got my car. I had everything, I thought.
The officers asked me where I was going to go and I said I was dropping the dogs at the dog sitters and I was going to a hotel. I was exhausted and hungry. I had not eaten since last night. It was now 2 pm. I had two dogs and bird in a car. I had called the bird boarding earlier in the morning and they told me to bring the bird over whenever I got him out of the house. So I took the bird over. They were so nice.
I called my dad and he booked me a hotel. I texted the dog sitter and she told me she had an emergency and could not take the dogs. Huh? The plan was just shot to hell. My dogs don't have the bortatella shot so I can't take them to a boarding place. What am I going to do? I parked my car and started to cry. Uncontrollable crying. I had a plan. Everyone was on board with the plan. Now the plan went to shit. What am I going to do? I am hungry, exhausted, in a car with two very tired dogs who will need to eat in a few hours and I have no dog food. I have no one and nowhere to go.
more to come...
My attorney told me she had a process server but that he was going to basically hand her the papers and run. This made me nervous. Tracy was so unstable, what if she refused to answer the door or didn't take the papers?
I decided to call a security company that a friend had told me about. I didn't know what they could do for me but it was worth a shot. I called Steve (ex-FBI agent) and he said he could help out by not just providing surveillance but he could also process serve the papers. He said he would do it but he wanted to do surveillance prior to serving the papers.He wanted a plan. He called my attorney and they set up a plan. It was wonderful to be out of the loop on the planning. To hand something over to someone was so stress free. I had been doing all the planning and stressing and controlling for so long; it was exhausting. Someone wanted to take care of me? Do it.
So my attorney and Steve and they organized the plan. We would wait until Tuesday morning. "Could you wait one more night?" What was one more night!?
The plan was that I would get a text early Tuesday morning from Steve. He would ask if Tracy was there. I already knew Tracy had to be somewhere at 8 am. If Tracy was still at the house at 7:30 am I was supposed to take the dogs for a walk on a ruse that I was going to a clients that morning.
Tuesday morning Tracy got up at 4 am and began her cleaning and talking to herself. Ranting and raving about this or that. I had my go-bag packed. When she took a walk at 5:30 am I ran downstairs and put my computer, bag with money and electronic, phone book, etc in the trunk of my car. I left my go-bag with my clothes because it was in plain view and I didn't want to tip her off. I already had all the sets of car keys, garage door openers, etc in the trunk of the car (not too safe I know) so she could not grab them. The dog sitter had dog food already so we were set there. I had extra leashes in my go bag.
At the appointed time, 7:30 am, I got the dogs ready and grabbed my handbag and went out the door. I saw Steve at the end of the block. I took the dogs a few blocks away where Tracy would not see us and waited in the chilly air. We walked, we sat, we walked, we sat. For two hours. I got a text from Steve. It was done but it didn't go well. Where are you? I met him around the block and he told me the whole story.
He and a colleague arrived. The colleague was taping the whole thing. Steve went to the door and at first she didn't answer. Then she finally did. She refused the papers by saying she was not the owner of the home. He explained the papers were for her. She said she is not taking any papers. They went back and forth. He explained that the papers were a temporary restraining order and it says she has to vacate the premises. Finally she opened the door and he served her but she dropped them on the ground. He went back to the car and she came out and started screaming at him and pounding on the car. She was in the middle of the street yelling and screaming.
He retreated in the car and that is when he texted me. He informed me that it was unsafe to go near the house since she is aggressive and unpredictable and still in the house. We called the police to come escort me into the house to get my go-bag, bird, and car. Unfortunately it was a very busy police day that day and I ended waiting for 3 more hours for the police. It took Steve calling, me calling, my neighbor who came to sit with me, calling. Finally a police officer came to the house.
I gave the police officer the papers and he read them. He then asked me when the restraining order was granted. I told him Friday but there was a problem with the website so we could not print the papers. Then we had to get a process server. He proceeded to tell me that I have been in violation of the TRO by living in the same house since the TRO was granted on Friday. I got all upset. You have got to be kidding me?! What was I supposed to do? Move out and let the cat out of the bag that I have a TRO that I can't serve for four more days? You have got to be kidding me. God knows what she could do to the house left by herself knowing that something is going on.
Then he asked me if she has any weapons, do I know if she is in the house, where would she be in the house, is she violent. After answering that no she has no weapons. I don't know if she is in the house but I am assuming she is. I don't know where she would be in the house. I didn't think she would be violent but she did act aggressively toward the process server. The officer called for back up.
Once back up showed up, we entered the house. They told me they would only clear the rooms I needed to enter. The officers did not go downstairs. I retrospect Tracy was downstairs. When I returned there was a note on the door telling me that I didn't put the alarm back on "when I was in the house with my 2 officer friends". There would be no way she would know that unless she was in the house when I was getting my stuff. I grabbed my go-bag, the bird, and some clothes. Then we went into the garage and I got my car. I had everything, I thought.
The officers asked me where I was going to go and I said I was dropping the dogs at the dog sitters and I was going to a hotel. I was exhausted and hungry. I had not eaten since last night. It was now 2 pm. I had two dogs and bird in a car. I had called the bird boarding earlier in the morning and they told me to bring the bird over whenever I got him out of the house. So I took the bird over. They were so nice.
I called my dad and he booked me a hotel. I texted the dog sitter and she told me she had an emergency and could not take the dogs. Huh? The plan was just shot to hell. My dogs don't have the bortatella shot so I can't take them to a boarding place. What am I going to do? I parked my car and started to cry. Uncontrollable crying. I had a plan. Everyone was on board with the plan. Now the plan went to shit. What am I going to do? I am hungry, exhausted, in a car with two very tired dogs who will need to eat in a few hours and I have no dog food. I have no one and nowhere to go.
more to come...
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