VACATION TO PALM DESERT

I flew down to Palm Desert on the same plane as my parents (my dad and his wife) at the end of April.  I told Tracy that I would talk to her on the phone one time a day at 4:30 pm. That way I would not get phone calls through out the day when we were doing activities. I wanted to relax while we were apart. This worked well for one day. Then Tracy began calling in between our scheduled phone calls. I kept ignoring her calls. Then she called the hotel with "an emergency" phone call. I didn't call her back until 4:30 and she was furious. I asked her what the emergency was and she said a heron landed in the backyard. I obviously needed to go over what constituted an emergency with her. She went on and on that I didn't call her back right away and what if it had been an emergency.

While I was away, I arranged for her doctor to call her and assess her and try to get her to go see someone. They spoke for 45 minutes. He said she was all over the place. She kept saying she was fixing herself and she could do it herself.  He said he tried to get her to come in to his office but she was unwilling.

I kept thinking about what the therapist said.  Tracy needed help.  She was unwilling to get help.  Her yelling was abusive and I could not stay with her.  I did a pros and cons list about staying with Tracy.  The cons outnumbered the pros for staying with Tracy.  I had a very hard time coming up with two reasons to stay with her.  Would I leave her? It was my house and she said she would never leave, how would I get her out? My head swam.

Then my friend asked me to lunch. He is a lawyer but a business lawyer. During lunch he brought up Tracy a few times but I was not ready to tell people how bad it was at home. The only people who knew where my parents (my dad and his wife) and my friend Viola.  After the third time he brought her up, I finally told him that things were not good. I finally told him everything. He started making me a plan. He gave me options. Restraining order. Eviction.  I leave.

It all started to come together. I had to get her out of the house before she hurt me or herself. Yes, she is only yelling and screaming now. Yes, her behavior is odd now but it is getting worse and who knows what will happen.

more to come...