CONTINUING TO LAY THE FOUNDATION

Overall I thought we were happy.  Tracy's yelling was always an issue.  We went to couple's counseling to deal with issues and I kept saying my issue is her yelling.  She had a hard time acknowledging that she was yelling.

Tracy was given medicine for anxiety after her assault and she continued to take some form of medication to keep her anxiety at bay.  She became more and more anxious about everything.  First it was about running into the person that assaulted her.  Then it became going to big events like the county fair.  Then it was going to any type of thing: concert, street fair, parade.  Then it became leaving the house basically at all unless it was to get take out food or see a movie.  She would not go to parties or neighborhood gatherings.  I would have to go alone or beg off.  We became very isolated.

About 10 years ago I was given a family inheritance which allowed me the ability to purchase a house.  This caused a bigger rift in our relationship.  We already had differences in education, jobs, finances, and now this.  She attended one year of college and dropped out; I had a Master's degree.  I had my own business; she lost her job and had tried to start her own cleaning business but the recession hit and she lost all her customers when they lost their jobs.  I am more financially independent due to my family inheritance (I still have to work but I don't have to pinch pennies) and she is not financially independent.  I now own a house and she has no stake in it.

Over the years I begged Tracy to see a doctor.  She had PTSD from the assault, undiagnosed obsessive compulsive disorder, depression and anxiety.  She needed help but refused to get it.  She self-medicated with beer and marijuana.  It was becoming clearer and clearer that we were not going to stay together but I had no idea what was about to happen.

more to come...